hi guys a lot has happened sinse mortiallox kicked me out of there club for unpsettling shambo and his sooky brothers. did i ever tell you that i offerd him out side but he ran off because he new about my days as a bear nuckles fighter in the hexagon.

anyway i'm in england playing a for a teem that is very lucky to have me as there internashinal pro. i can see the happiness in there face when they see me in the nets playing prefect cut shots and leg glanses. a few weaks a go a young bloke arsked me how i do it so easy and elagantly and i told him that i was lucky to be born with natural eye to hand sklls thats only given to rair talented peeple. in the games im avraging in the low 90s and making a mokery of this leege. its got to the stage wear the other teems put the feeldsman back and let me get a single to get me of strike. ive had a few county clubs arsk me to join them next seeson but i told them the club im at now need me to much and i wont leeve them to be as bad as they were befour they recrooted me. ive also bean bowling a lot and have 60 wikets at an avrage of 5 bowling my leggys that have bean making peeple look retarted. sinse ive bean hear ive created a ball called the casnova because if fuks evrywon lol. it comes out as a normal leggy but hits the pich and spits up at the throtes of the batters. i hit a man in the throte with it in the nets larst weak and told him he wont sound very good at the karyoke night coming coming up.


speeking of the karyoke night i was best on ground. the ferst song i sang was land down under by men at werk, evrywon was booing and yelling out dont sing your aussy crap here don (they call me don arfter bradman), i just smiled and gave them a vegymite sanwich, lol. later in the night when everywon had loosend up a bit I sang i want to sex you up by color me bad. i was doing pelvic thrust moves to the woman why i was singing and old mary who werks in the canteen threw he nickers at me and i got inside them and pulled them for 6, the crowd were chanting don don  don don don.

now for the part you all bean wating for. sinse i dont play for morti any more i had to change my penis name from motiallox member to the bently bender. my bently bender is getting werked to the bone to, all the pomy ladys have bean treeting me like a peace of meet and all they want to do is shag me. i picked up this stunner named debby at a night club and took her back to my plase and she treeted my bently bender like an amoosment park. she road it for five ours and she keeped screeming your making me tender with your bently bender. when we finished she said she was gunna tell all her frends about me and they will want to root me to. its fair to say that i'm the best bat, bowler and shagger at the club. ive had 3 paturnity tests sinse ive bean hear, it seems all these hoes want me to farther there kids.

oh by the way i was the rep teem captain and made 110 in the game against goochys leege who were about a terf 3 standard at best. i rooted the leege presidents daughter that night on the back seet of the teem bus why they were doing presentashions. half way threw shagging her i herd them call me for player of the match on the micrafone, you shood have herd them all larf when i walked in to acsept my award whereing nothing but a condom. the leege president said if i didnt win the game of my own bat he wood have suspented me.

see you all when i get home and i'm sliding for bently uniting.