On checking club online sites for new season found North Dandy's otherwise laudable instructions ''The NDCC Way'' could be better worded. Last two sub-points under item 5 open to misinterpretation by numbskulls as they read: - Don't hold back; - Fight.

Doveton North sooo excited announcing Hemantha Alles as its coach it included this little gem: ''Please beware (club's underline) Hemantha will be selling crickets upond his arrival . . .''. Perhaps the noisy critters are his secret weapon to distract opposition batsmen to make up for the yard-and-a-half he's lost in pace over the years?

Best player site being developed at Snakepit, where honesty award goes to ''Dog'' Milne who lists his prowess as - Bat: doesn't; Bowl: doesn't (professional fielder). 

ASIO award again goes to Doveton for its secrecy (or is it inability to give us anything because no use can be found for a spanner in the electronic sphere?)

What's happening to the site by the creek. Time for the squirrle with big nuts to climb down out of the elm tree and take control.