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Post Info TOPIC: Jokes
Tangles


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RE: Jokes
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The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to Hell and Tiger Woods went to Heaven.

The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in Hell, and after checking the paperwork the clerk admits that there is an error.

"However", the clerk explains, "it will be 24 hours before it can be rectified".

Next day the Pope is called and Hell's staff bids him farewell.

On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from Heaven and they stop to have a chat.

"Sorry about the mix up", apologizes the Pope.

"No problem" replied Tiger Woods.

Pope: "I am really anxious to get to Heaven"

Tiger: "Why is that?"

Pope: "All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary"

Tiger: "You're a day late."




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Chappy what a legend!!!!!!
Darrel Hair


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Did you hear about the two pigs playing football?

One pig kicked it and the other went to market.

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Nicko


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A CAUTION FOR ALL MEN

 

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

 

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer".

 

The drug is found in liquid form and available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps and in large kegs.

 

"Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.

 

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of "Beer" and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

 

Men are rendered helpless against this approach.

 

After several "Beers", men will often succumb to the desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted to.

 

After drinking "Beer", men often awake with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before and also with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

 

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

 

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage".

 

Men are much more susceptible to this scam after "Beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

 

If you fall victim to this "Beer" and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly affected like-minded guys.

 

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.



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BErnst


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Nicko wrote:

 

A CAUTION FOR ALL MEN

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer".

The drug is found in liquid form and available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps and in large kegs.

"Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of "Beer" and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach.

After several "Beers", men will often succumb to the desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted to.

After drinking "Beer", men often awake with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before and also with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage".

Men are much more susceptible to this scam after "Beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

If you fall victim to this "Beer" and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly affected like-minded guys.

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

 


Gtrain gave me a number that i can forward to you that might help anyone?

 



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donthassellthehoff


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what's the diffeence between beaver and fatcat?

fatcat's got friends

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The Hoff is looking for a change of club. Anyone interested please contact my misses as she runs my life and will bargain for the right price.
Rocky Burdett


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Paddy the Irishman was out at his local the other night when he caught the eye of a pretty young lass. Paddy ventured over with drink for her and they got chatting. After a while and a few more drinks they strolled onto the dance floor to cut a bit of rug.

They were getting on famously-dancing away arm in arm when eventually closing time came. The lights came on and Paddy turned his new girl and asked:

"Should we continue this back at your house?"

"I can't" she replied. "I'm on my menstral cycle."

"That's OK" Paddy says. "I'm on my moped. I'll follow you home!!"

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Rocky Burdett


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More of a trivia question than a joke but here goes:

A man rides into town on Friday...Stays for three days and leaves again on Friday...How does he do it?

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Woofa


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thats a jarken good question

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Tangles


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Might have to ask Paddy the Irishmen for the answer on that 1.

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Chappy what a legend!!!!!!
donthassellthehoff


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Rocky Burdett wrote:

More of a trivia question than a joke but here goes:

A man rides into town on Friday...Stays for three days and leaves again on Friday...How does he do it?


Friday is the name of his horse/car/bike/mule

 



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The Hoff is looking for a change of club. Anyone interested please contact my misses as she runs my life and will bargain for the right price.
Woofa


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donthassellthehoff wrote:

Rocky Burdett wrote:

More of a trivia question than a joke but here goes:

A man rides into town on Friday...Stays for three days and leaves again on Friday...How does he do it?


Friday is the name of his horse/car/bike/mule

 


very jarken clever hoff

 



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donthassellthehoff


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Woofa wrote:

donthassellthehoff wrote:

 

Rocky Burdett wrote:

More of a trivia question than a joke but here goes:

A man rides into town on Friday...Stays for three days and leaves again on Friday...How does he do it?


Friday is the name of his horse/car/bike/mule

 


very jarken clever hoff

 


smart hoff on atm

 



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The Hoff is looking for a change of club. Anyone interested please contact my misses as she runs my life and will bargain for the right price.
Rocky Burdett


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Correct Hoff. The answer to the riddle is horse, but I spose it can be any of your responses which leads me to think you (atleast the one logged in at the minute) is some what educated...Who are the proclaimed "educated" on here????

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Woofa


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slocs was the only other person knew the answer to that

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Goochy


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I have to say that all you guys and your aliases need to get out more. It's absolutely sad as fk. It really is. Genuine.

I tried it once and found it embarrassing. Never again.

Just step back and look at yourselves. Seriously.

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donthassellthehoff


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Goochy wrote:

I have to say that all you guys and your aliases need to get out more. It's absolutely sad as fk. It really is. Genuine.

I tried it once and found it embarrassing. Never again.

Just step back and look at yourselves. Seriously.


thanks for that

 



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The Hoff is looking for a change of club. Anyone interested please contact my misses as she runs my life and will bargain for the right price.
Woofa


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who was your alias gooch?

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slocs


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Woofa wrote:

slocs was the only other person knew the answer to that


thats true woofa i did. thats why i never answered it.

 



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Goochy


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Woofa wrote:

who was your alias gooch?



Genuine.

I created one in the UK using an IP router. Only posted about 6 times. I couldn't get into it. I'm not revealing who it was.

Also created Paul Franks for Alex via Slocs suggestion. Used it once.



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slocs


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excuse me paul? pathetic.

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