Jokes

G Train · Status: Offline

RE: Jokes

Rocky Burdett · Status: Offline

Tenihan? I've always thought his sirname was Chalk-bones.

Rocky Burdett · Status: Offline

Do you reckon Dyslexic's understand alphabet soup?

Woofa · Status: Offline

what do you call a good looking arab?

asif

Woofa · Status: Offline

why do seaguls have wings?

to beat berwick people to the tip

Player Agent · Status: Offline

I was asked to leave the local swimming pool today as the large bulge in my speedos was upsetting some of the other swimmers. I pointed out a guy in similar trunks and asked why he was not asked to leave.

'Because he has not sh1t himself'

prince mark · Status: Offline

Some of Woofas old pick up lines from the Hallam pub

I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?

I just sh!t in my pants, can I get into yours?

Did you fart, cause you just blew me away.

Woofa · Status: Offline

nice shoes, how about a root

Player Agent · Status: Offline

Nice tattoo now lets root

I like women with missing teeth, you didn't need to bring your tooth brush to stay at my house tonight

i find birds with scars sexy especially the ones accross both your wrist

slocs · Status: Offline

geez they are nice legs, what time do they open?

prince mark · Status: Offline

Player Agent wrote:

Nice tattoo now lets root

I like women with missing teeth, you didn't need to bring your tooth brush to stay at my house tonight

i find birds with scars sexy especially the ones accross both your wrist

Awful jokes/ one liners Beav!

-- Edited by prince mark on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 10:17:30 PM

prince mark · Status: Offline

Some doozys here about wearing dingers....

1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!

Darrel Hair · Status: Offline

Cover that lumber before you pump her
Protect her wrinkle before you sprinkle
She won't bristle if you wrap your whistle
House your noodle then release your strudel
Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound
Shelter your jerky then nab that turkey
Cage that snake then shake and bake
Cover your peter it will be much neater
Coat that Labrador then allow him to explore

-- Edited by Darrel Hair on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 10:56:27 PM

Darrel Hair · Status: Offline

What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo

Whats the best part of having a homeless girlfriend?
You can drop her off where ever you want!

Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken?
After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

G Train · Status: Offline

Player Agent wrote:

Nice tattoo now lets root

I like women with missing teeth, you didn't need to bring your tooth brush to stay at my house tonight

i find birds with scars sexy especially the ones accross both your wrist

Give it a rest Beav for farks sake.

Tangles · Status: Offline

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.

'This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.'

'Yes, I remember him as a baby,' says the other mother cheerfully.

'He's a martyr now though,' the mother confides.

'Oh, so sad dear,' says the other.

'And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.'

'Oh, I remember him,' says the other happily, 'he had such curly hair when he was born.'

'He's a martyr too,' says the mother quietly.

'Oh, gracious me . . . , ' says the other.

'And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would have been 18,' she whispers.

'Yes,' says the friend en thusiastically, 'I remember when he first started school.'

'He's a martyr also,' says the mother, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching for the right words, says . . .

scroll down>

'They blow up so fast, don't they?

Tangles · Status: Offline

Here is one for Kiwi.
Wiremu, a New Zealander, was in Australia to watch the upcoming Tri Nations Test and was not feeling well, So he decided to see a doctor. "Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prostate problems and that the only cure was testicular removal. "No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey"

The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal was the only cure. Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.

Wiremu was devastated, but with the Tri Nations Test just around the corner he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust.

The Kiwi doctor examined him and said: "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv Prostate suckness ey."

"What's the cure thin doc ?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer.

"Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."

"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu, "those Aussie bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"

Jake the Mus · Status: Offline

What do you call a Kiwi in a suit ?
The Defendant

What do you call a Kiwi with a lot of girlfriend's ?
A shepherd

What do you call a tasmanian with an IQ of 150 ?
A suburb

Darrel Hair · Status: Offline

A night at the Snakepit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxufC-HG-aY

Sticky Fingers · Status: Offline

looks more like someone from nth dandy

Lois...