Having just consulted with A Rob we have decided to offer the winners prize. The gobshyt who wins will receive a night driving us around to our usual haunts (Cushion, Garden, Tramp, Love Mac, etc...) and making sure my door lists are being abused by ugly or fat people, only fit woman and men allowed. You will also be responsible for telling our favorite DJ's that we love them and it isn't pathetic that a man of my age is still hanging around dance clubs with people half my age.
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I hate Australia but by god do I wish I was Australian. In fact it's probably the only thing I dislike about me.